Is your Family a Holy Family?

Is your family a holy family?  This Sunday is the Feast oft he Holy Family, so this feast day presents us with a wonderful opportunity to ponder the question. Are our families holy families?

Let me paint you 2 portraits. 2 portraits of the Holy Family.

1st Portrait of Holy family = Marriage made in Heaven. We might call this the Holy card version of the Holy Family.

Mary = perfect mother - serene, meek, and mild mannered.
Joseph = perfect father - protective, caring husband and father figure.
Jesus = 'model child.'

No terrible twos, and other than one minor mishap as an adolescent (when he stayed behind in the Temple and worried his parents) Jesus did not give his parents any grief as a teenager. He grew up in wisdom, age, and grace... and they lived happily ever after.

That portrait is too shallow and overly sentimental. We look at our own families and find that they fall way short of this perfect holy family that has it all together, and that leaves us feeling discouraged and inadequate.

The 2nd portrait of the Holy Family looks like this:

Joseph and Mary’s Relationship began with a shaky start.

Mary was a pregnant teenager with an explanation too far fetched for even the most understanding fiancé to comprehend.

He considered divorcing her quietly, but in the end, he married the woman who carried another's offspring. The baby was born at a very inconvenient time and in a very inconvenient place. And then Joseph's dreams directed him to relocate the family to a completely different country for a few years for the child's safety. The child had a mind of his own, demonstrating an unusual degree of independence. Mary tried to understand her child's unconventional ways, pondering in her heart all that she experienced. No matter how much a mother loves her son, she can not determine his destiny. The sword of sorrow pierced Mary’s heart, and in the end, her son died a criminal's death.

1st portrait of the Holy Family is disturbing for its idealism. No family can live up to that idealism.

2nd portrait is disturbing for its realism. Unexpected pregnancy. Questions of divorce and illegitimacy. Dreams and angel visitations. Perplexed parents. When God decided to enter human history, he chose to do so through a human being who would live in a human family. Jesus’ human family was not un-real or ideal, but it was into the real world, with all its brokenness, that Jesus came bringing wholeness and reconciliation. Jesus knows from personal experience what it’s like to belong to a very real human family with very real struggles and difficulties.

A question for all the parents here –Have any of your children ever caused you a bit of anxiety, or when you were a kid did you ever cause your parents any concern? It seems that children do things that cause their parents some degree of consternation, and Jesus was no exception. As we hear in the gospel, instead of heading home with his parents after their annual Passover observance, Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. Have you ever asked one of your children “why did you do that to us”? or “why did you do that to me?” “why did you do that?” Joseph and Mary ask Jesus the same thing! It says in the scripture we heard today --The very anxious parents asked, "Son, why have you done this to us?" - It’s a question still posed by parents today. Life in the Holy Family was much like life in our families: The gospel also says that Joseph and Mary did not understand what Jesus said to them." Parents are often bewildered by their children - both when they do communicate and when they don't!

Consider this: If there was miscommunication and misunderstanding in the Holy Family, then there is hope for us all!

--So caring for our children can be tough. What about caring for our ageing parents? Many parents find themselves in what is sometimes called the "sandwich generation" - taking care of growing children along with aging parents.

We are advised by Sirach to help our parents in their old age, even if their minds fail, be patient with them. Every time I go to my parents house my Dad tells me: “be patient with the old folks.” He is talking about himself and my Mom. Be patient. Kindness to a mother and a father will never be forgotten. The model people set for elderly care now will probably be the quality of care they receive when they are old.

OK, so What makes a "holy family"? The spirituality of the family is not about excessively long hours of prayer and fasting. There are more than enough opportunities within family life to qualify for sainthood. Here is a list of a few: Changing dirty diapers, getting the kids up and to mass on time or to school on time, wiping runny noses, visits to the emergency room for stitches (when I was a kid the ER doctor knew me by first name!), Car pooling the kids and arbitrating squabbles in the car, helping to settle fights in the family, Fast food sandwiched in between piano lessons, sports, and play rehearsals, Crying with your children when a pet dies, Sitting through a three hour recital waiting for Missy to play the Minute Waltz, Waiting up for a teen out on a date. Stretching paychecks to cover college tuition, Agonizing whether to institutionalize a parent with Alzheimer's.

Folks, what family spirituality is about, is prayer, love, healing bruised egos, mending broken trust, and struggling with reconciliation. It was into family life, holy and messy as it is - that God came to dwell among us as Jesus Christ.

--Is your family a holy family? It is if it is bound by love –the love of Christ. Our families are holy if we find the love of Christ in our family and keep God first in our lives.

Oh yes, family life can be messy, but we also remember that marriage between man and woman is a symbol of Christ’s love for his Church. A marriage between a man and a woman is a symbol of Christ’s love for you his church, his bride. Through marriage, husband a wife share in the creative powers of God -- First, by bringing new life into the world by two people becoming one flesh.

-- And secondly, by bringing new spiritual life into the world by being the first teachers of the faith and the primary source for nourishment of the faith. Listen carefully, It is a serious mistake to think that the Catholic school or the Catholic church is the primary source for spiritual nourishment. I repeat: It is a serious mistake to think that the Catholic school or the Catholic church is the primary source for spiritual nourishment. Lest we forget let me read to you what we all promised at on behalf of our children when they were baptized. . . . (from the book). Faith must have a base upon which to build, and that base is supplied in the home by the family.

So --how do we help keep our families together? How do we bind them together? We are all aware of common experiences that bind people together. Disasters seem to bind people together --Hurricanes, Earthquakes, sickness, fires, war all bond people together. Why not use the common experience of prayer and God to bind our families together? The old saying goes, a family that prays together stays together. Is that still true? Do you as a family pray? I’m not talking about some rote recitation of something like prayer before meals. Do you really pray from the heart? Many families start off like that –do you still do it?

So I ask you, is your family a holy family? How can you transform the nitty-grittiness of your daily life together as a family into a holy family. You don’t do it by getting rid of your humanness, but rather by starting the day with strength from God – from prayer and closing the day with strength from God –from prayer.

Here is the list for building and maintaining a holy family:

Pray -- love -- Teach the faith – love --

heal bruised egos, love -- mend broken trust, love -- struggle with reconciliation, love -- pray.

---Oh yes, life is messy, relationships are messy, families are messy -- I come from a family of 9 kids, dogs, cats, fish, parents, you name it we had it. I know it can be a struggle -- Is your family a holy family? Not a perfect family – but a holy family.?   --DH

What to hope for

Saturday 12.15.20, Mt 17:9a, 10-13

John and Martha had been high school sweethearts. After graduation, John had gone off to college…and then the war. Martha became a teacher. They had tried to stay in touch…but there was so much that had gone on. Martha eventually married, and she and her husband had three kids…but then there was an accident…and she was left to raise the kids by herself. John never married…the war had really been tough…but he was absorbed in his work, and was quite successful. It just so happened that they had a mutual friend who put them back in touch, and had actually set up a rendezvous. It had been a long time…a lot of water under the bridge, so to speak. Martha arrived early, and sat at a table where she anxiously watched the door. He arrived shortly after, walked by her, and sat at another table, anxiously watching the door. After a while, they both got up to leave, and as he held the door for her, she thanked him…and he recognized her voice. “Martha??”…”John??”…

After all that time, they didn’t recognize one another…they just didn’t know what to hope for.

The chosen people were waiting…and hoping… for Elijah to return, and for the Son of Man to follow…but they wouldn’t recognize either…they just didn’t know what they were hoping for.

How do we know what to hope for? In a secular world that seems so filled with disappointment, so filled with senseless disrespect for life, for people, and for relationships, it can be a really tough question…

But as Christians, we have a blessed advantage. Hope for us is a theological virtue…a gift from God our Father…that gives us assurance…assurance…of salvation; it allows us to place our faith (ANOTHER gift ) in God, and helps us to do the charitable things that please Him.

The focus of our hope is Jesus; that he died for us…to wash away our sins; that he rose from the dead…so we can do the same.

During Advent, we are anxiously waiting…watching…expecting…and praying…that we recognize him when he comes…that we welcome him into our lives…not just at Christmas, but each and every day of our lives.  --W.W.

What kind of Judge is God?

What Kind of Judge is God, reflection on Luke 18: 1-8.

He’s fearless…and if he doesn't even fear God…he is shameless as well. He has no reason at all to even listen to her. It certainly isn’t her wealth or her power that moves him…she has none of either. And it isn’t out of pity or sympathy for her…he is capable of neither. He’s tried ignoring her…and she comes before him over…and over…and over. 

It’s her persistence that wears him down. This big, powerful, important, fearless and shameless judge is so disturbed by this desperate widow’s persistence that he finally…finally…decides in her favor. In his own words, “…lest she finally come and strike me.” Is he really worried that this weak widow woman will literally come down there and thump him? Maybe it’s not a physical thumping that has him concerned. Maybe he’s worried that this persistent and consistent cry for a just verdict from someone so weak and powerless will make him look bad if he fails to act…justly.

Now in our reality, our God is our judge…and he is nothing like the judge in the parable. He waits for us; he listens with love and concern, and while he will never be able to find any of us innocent, he is always eager to find us, through his mercy…saved.

Throughout God’s word, we see it over and over again: widows, orphans, the hungry, the thirsty, the sick and the lame, the imprisoned, and the stranger…the powerless…those who by a fearless and shameless world are judged imperfect or defective…the abandoned and the ignored; to God these are the most precious. Think about it…for a moment…just think about it. Throughout our lives, each of us will fall into at least one of those categories at any given time; and we may not even recognize it as it is happening.

So we have to pray…persistently and consistently…coming before the just judge over…and over…and over…and there is no doubt…he will give a verdict against the world in our favor.  BW

Northwest Florida Guild of the Catholic Medical Association

There are no coincidences in life. Today, we mark the founding of the Northwest Florida Guild of the Catholic Medical Association, and I think that today's Gospel (Luke 13: 1-9) speaks to this significant occasion.

The fig and the fig tree have been mankind's constant companion throughout all of recorded history, and even beyond that. There is solid evidence that it has been cultivated at least as far back as 7,000 years ago; it is mentioned over 50 times in the Bible, spanning both Old and New Testaments; and all of the references are full of meaning…it's not just a tree that bears abundant fruit with precious little care; it stands as a symbol of so much more.

Fig trees and fig crops were indicators of a robust economy, much like low unemployment figures are now. The fig tree was a symbol of Peace, Prosperity, and God's blessing. The Apostle Bartholomew was chosen by Jesus because Jesus saw him "sitting under a fig tree", which was a metaphor for being lost in deep prayer.

In all cultures where the fig appears, physicians have always recognized it as a source of power and strength, and as a source of healing for diseases of every description.

So, what is the point of the parable that Jesus tells us today in our Gospel reading? How does it speak to us…how does he speak to us…today? This tree, this fabled symbol of God's grace, is threatened with destruction…because it is not bearing fruit, despite many seasons of growth. The owner of the orchard even says "So cut it down. Why should it exhaust the soil?" What a devastating conviction!!

Yet it is the gardener who comes to the tree's defense, giving it one more chance to bear fruit with his promise of extra special care…one more year…but only one more year

The profession of Medicine today looks a lot like the fig tree in today's parable…it has had many seasons of growth, and is flourishing physically and technologically, but it is not bearing the spiritual fruit that it is not only capable of bearing, but that is so much a part of what it is really meant to be…what we all want it to be.

Today, the Catholic physicians of St. Paul parish and our area take that first step…together…to begin the process of cultivating and fertilizing the fig tree of our beloved profession. We ask God's help for an abundance of fruit.  BW

Noah, Mary, the Catholic Church and Faith and Works

God told Noah to build an ark. God created ex nihilo (out of nothing); He could have created the ark out of nothing. God saves, utilizing His creation. The thought of building an ark might have, at first, seemed ridiculous to Noah. It is possible that he could have refused. God gave Noah the instructions, but Noah had to obey. Noah’s faith alone would not have built the ark that saved mankind and animals from the flood; it was through faith and works that the ark was built and Noah, his family, and the animals were saved.

Noah prefigures Jesus Christ. Jesus is the Virgin Mary’s Creator; nevertheless, He was not conceived by the Holy Spirit until her fiat. Because of Mary’s fiat, Jesus became incarnate and redeemed us. Because of her fiat, she became the ark, the Mother of the Church, and the Ark of the Covenant. Nevertheless, it was not faith alone: She had to be obedient to God’s law; she had to raise and teach Jesus when He was an infant and toddler.

The Catholic Church is the Jesus Christ that the world sees. This is true because we are His Body. There is no other denomination more hated and despised than the Catholic Church. Muslims hate and despise us; Protestants hate and despise us. This has to be since our Head, the Lord Jesus Christ, was hated and despised by Jews and Gentiles alike. We are the True Body of Christ; nevertheless, faith alone is not sufficient. How can we exist without good works?

Knowing the Cross I Must Bear

“And he called unto him the multitude with his disciples, and said unto them, If any man would come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me” (Mar 8:34 RV). My natural inclination is to put off hardships, to avoid them. Hence, if I am not careful, it could very well be that I am walking contrary to Christ. I must, therefore, know whether the hardship confronting me is the cross that I must take up. This cannot be something that is in me, for I have known to be wrong many; henceforth, it must come from outside of me—the teaching of the Catholic Church.

Once again, I must always remember that truth lies with the Catholic Church since it is the Body of Christ. Any hardship which I incur because I am walking with the teachings of the Church is a cross that I must pick up and carry. If I believe a teaching of the Catholic Church is erroneous, I have made myself the judge of the Church, made myself superior to the Church—and to Christ by virtue of the fact that He is the Head of the Church. If I am not careful and follow my own personal opinions which would be contrary to the Church, I would be trying to form Jesus Christ into an image that I have created, not liking the true Jesus Christ. I must place my trust in the Catholic Church, the Body of Jesus Christ, the likeness of Jesus Christ. How do I know the teaching of the Catholic Church? By reading the Catechism. It is only then that I know which cross I must bear.

The Ninety Nine and the One

“What man of you, having a hundred sheep, and having lost one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he finds it? And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and his neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost. I say unto you, that even so there shall be joy in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine righteous persons, which need no repentance” (Lk 15:4-7, RV).

I am sure most of us have heard this parable. For many years, I believed the owner had a hundred sheep (Christians); one was lost and He went out to find it. What was troubling: He left the ninety nine. I thought, “Well, they did not go astray, so He left them. The more I heard about sheep, the more I came to understand that sheep are stupid and must have a shepherd.

Now, when I read this parable, two words stand out: “wilderness” and “repentance.” The “wilderness” associates this with the Church because it is the Church that goes through the “wilderness.” “Repentance” means that there are those in the Church who do not believe they are in need of repentance and some who knows they are in need of repentance. Another thing I notice is: “Now all the publicans and sinners were drawing near unto him for to hear him, and both the Pharisees and the scribes murmured, saying, ‘This man receiveth sinners, and eateth with them’” (Luk 15:1-2 RV). Jesus is speaking against the Pharisees and scribes because they were murmuring. We will readily admit that we sin and are in need of repentance. The ninety nine need no repentance; or, should I say, they did not think they had need of repentance. Because they felt they had no need to repent, the shepherd left to find the one that did need repentance.

The question I ask myself: Am I one of the ninety nine, or am I the one who needs repentance? Daily, I try to not sin; I attempt to keep the commandments at the forefront of my mind. I also realize that a righteous man sins seven times daily—the “seven times” meaning numerous times. This is extremely disturbing for, at the end of the day, when trying to confess my sins, I either can think of a few or none at all. This very well could be that I no longer am sensitive to some sins, having become calloused, or that I am so full of pride that I have become hard hearted with regard to some sins. At least, at a very minimum, I am able to confess that pride exists in me and that I am calloused to some sins, praying that the Holy Ghost gives me the grace to repent and to bring to remembrance my sins. Just as the twelve fell into periods of unbelief and sometimes had hardness of hearts. This applies to me also. At the time, more than likely I do not even realize I have fallen into unbelief or hardness of heart; but I do realize that it occurs because it happened to the disciples. Therefore, I need to remember to confess that daily, also at the Sacrament of Penance, and also ask our Blessed Mother and my patron saint to intercede for me and everyone else.  --TT